Choosing Movies For Your Child - What Is Appropriate?

If you have children, you have no doubt been on one side of the other in the never ending debate about what movies are suitable for children and which ones are not.  Some parents insist on following the much heralded movie ratings system (established by the Motion Picture Association Of America) to a “T”, while others make choices independent of outside influence.  Some are accused of being too liberal with what their kids are allowed to watch, while still others are labeled as being overly protective (if not borderline paranoid).

Of course no one wants to expose their child too early to unhealthy messages or imagery, but there is no hard and fast rule to determine what is and is not acceptable at a given age.  My kids all saw JAWS by the time they were four (growing up with that being their father’s favorite movie, it was kind of hard to avoid), and yet none of them are afraid of the water.  In fact, they can’t wait to get to the beach and go swimming.

By the same token, I let my 13 year old daughter watch SAVING PRIVATE RYAN, and she was reduced to tears during the first half hour.  I had long held that SPR should be required viewing, yet didn’t take into consideration that perhaps my daughter wasn’t prepared to process such graphic images, made all the more horrible by the fact that they actually occurred.   

I’m a big proponent of being involved in your kids’ lives, to the point where you know if they are emotionally able to handle heavier subject matter.  Many more sophisticated teens have been able to recognize the social and political themes which serve as the subtext for films such as George Romero or David Cronenberg, while to a small child, these films would be over their heads at best, and violating experiences of horror at worst.

It becomes a matter of determining just what your child can effectively process, and are they able to distinguish fantasy from reality.  If a movie such as THE LION KING or BEAUTY AND THE BEAST gives your child bad dreams, they are probably not ready for a HALLOWEEN or FRIDAY THE 13^TH marathon.

Sometimes, the kid knows on their own what they can handle.  I was thirteen when I saw my first R rated movie (ALIEN, 1979), and I knew I could handle the movie despite my parents’ objections.  Getting over the hurdle wasn’t easy, as I asked, begged, coaxed, and bribed them for three months before they gave in.  Even so, it would be two years before I would see another R rated film (HALLOWEEN II, 1981). 

If your child wants to see a movie you have questions about, consider the idea of sitting down and watching it with them, being available to answer questions, or call the whole thing off if it does get out of hand.  I had to do this with my oldest daughter and TOY STORY (2003), which I personally wouldn’t have found objectionable, but I had to deal with her being afraid of the living baby doll head.   Of course when she wanted to go see TOY STORY 2 years later, I gave her no end of grief over that.

Of course the argument isn’t limited to movies with scary or violent content.  There are also those films with nudity or sexual content, and here is where the waters get really difficult to navigate.  Should children be exposed to erotic imagery?  There are those who will automatically say “no!”, they are not prepared to handle such images.  Others may conclude that human sexuality is a natural, beautiful thing and not wish to shield their children from what they see as a perfectly natural act. 

In the end, there is no single, defining procedure by which to make a decision.  The ratings system, for this author anyway, is a dismal failure, offering no clear cut reasons as to why a movie is given a certain rating, and usually resulting in filmmakers having to butcher their artistic vision in order to receive the rating they hoped to achieve. 

As with any activity, the best thing to do is to be involved in your child’s life, know their strengths, their weaknesses, their personalities, and do your job as a parent to determine what types of subject matter they can handle and what types should be avoided.